Runaway Emotions

I can't recall when it all started but for as long as I can remember I have been a slave to assumptions and runaway emotions. I've always felt deeply, almost too deeply for my own good. Feeling that much, so often leaves one exhausted or confused if you want my opinion. I could read a simple three word statement and assume that someone truly meant a paragraph worth of words. As well as never knowing what emotions are allowed or valid. Since there are far too many running through your system all at once. One soul cannot simply feel THAT much can it? One soul cannot truly feel both an intense feeling of eagerness but just the same an intense feeling of sorrow? I find myself living with so much guilt that I plead to myself for change, encouraged to truly attempt it. That in the same though, that guilt also has me feeling as though I should not carry on. My rapid assumptions have me feeling as though my loved ones are far better off without me, I have facts that alone could show that to be true. Even then though, my heart reminds me that there is still good in me. I do still bring some beauty to the table in relationships. The ability to feel so deeply allows me to pour so much of myself into someone. Showering them with words of affirmation, gestures of kindness, and wanting to share my time full heartedly. Those I love have spoken to me of the joy I can bring and have brought to their lives. Yet, even then, no amount of love can drive out the fear you have instilled within someone once the deed is done. Some things just don't find there way back to being whole again. Love does not conquer all in my humble opinion. Sometimes love is what causes it all to crumble. Sometimes you love so deeply that you take desperate measures to try to make sure that that love will never leave. But in reality those measures cause the love to flee even more rapidly.